By now, most of us have had our Quarter 1 check-ins. Some grades went up, some didn’t, and the conversations at home have hopefully been purposeful. If we slow down, however, and really look, what we’re seeing isn’t just academic. It’s emotional.

Behind every missed assignment, every eye roll, every “I don’t care,” there’s a story.

Sometimes it’s frustration. Sometimes it’s fear.
Sometimes it’s something deeper, the quiet patterns our families taught us long before we even realized we were learning.

In Let’s Talk, I wrote about the ways communication either builds bridges or builds walls. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the blueprints: where those walls and bridges even came from.

Maybe some of us were raised to be strong, and not soft.
Maybe we learned silence was safer than honesty.
Maybe we were taught to be helpers before we ever learned to ask for help.

When our children shut down, or when we do, we’re not just reacting, we’re repeating.

Reflection for This Week

Ask yourself, not as a parent, but as a person:

What do I expect from my child that no one ever taught me how to do?
How did my family handle failure, frustration, or fear?
What do I want to pass on differently?

We can’t rewrite what we were handed, but we can choose what we hand down next.

Looking Ahead

Next month, I’ll begin exploring these roots in my upcoming book, Slave Ways. I’ll explore the generational patterns we inherited, the psychology behind them, and how awareness becomes healing.

The truth is, nobody wants to fail — but some of us were taught to survive instead of thrive, and it’s time to change that story.